sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
