you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Randomize
