He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
