Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
