How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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