I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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