I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
