That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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