susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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