Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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