Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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