The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize