I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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