she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
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