you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Hippo gnu deer
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Just high enough for therapy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
