ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
