i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize