We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
