can u get pink eye on your cock?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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