how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize