you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
