I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize