Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
