Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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