hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
