1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
