i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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