that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
