What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
