i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
