I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just forgot I was standing up.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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