I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
