i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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