So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
