It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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