I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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