Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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