They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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