I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
