some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
