I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
