a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
