So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
