I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
