It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so explain again why im purple
no
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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