And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
