I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
