So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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