And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize