I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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