Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize