ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
