hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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