The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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