You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
