i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
