He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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