Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Randomize