my vag is so smooth its legendary
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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