To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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